What is life? What am I even doing with my life? Why is it so hard to live? Why am I hurt? What did I do to deserve this? Why am I in so much pain? Why do I have to bear all this? Why can’t I get a break?

 Life is unfair. My parents don’t love me. My boyfriend/girlfriend is not loyal. My friends are selfish. My dreams died. I am alone. I was abandoned by everyone. There is no GOD. If there is GOD then why is there so much suffering. I studied hard but didn’t get the grades I deserve. I work hard at my job but wasn’t given a pay rise. My life is shit and it sucks. Nobody understands me. I have trust issues, daddy issues, mommy issues, mental health issues. All of my friends are doing better than me. I am a hot pile of shit. I have no self esteem and confidence is nowhere near to be found. My crush doesn’t even know I exist. I have no idea how to be a good parent/ wife/friend/human being. I don’t have the success I deserve. My brother/sister likes his/her friends more than me.

 I wish I was beautiful. I wish I was smart. I wish I had a good body. I wish I had inner peace. I wish I had someone who could get me, to whom I could talk to. I wish I was famous. I wish people could see my worth. I wish to be a great mom/dad. I wish I was skinny. I wish I was as bold/kind as that person. I wish my husband/wife/children/co-workers/friends/brother/sister would appreciate me more. I wish they would recognize my efforts/sacrifices. I wish I was content. I wish others were content with me. I wish I was enough. I wish I could do something to make my sister/friend/brother/partner happy. I wish I could take away their pain. I wish I was more. I wish I was someone else. I wish I could change myself/my personality.

Above are some of the thoughts  that we all have at one point and there are much more feelings compared to these handful thoughts I have written and the rest I just decided not to write.

Some of us think of life as a challenge but for some it’s a blessing, then for some people it’s a curse and they don’t know how to break that curse. Some of us think of life as an adventure and then some are just here to complete the given time. Some of us just want peaceful and meaningful life. Some of us want to be famous then there are some who just want to be happy.

For me, life started as a challenge and I faced everything with strength and courage. I think I did well. Then life became unbearable and breathing became a job. I felt like breathing was so hard and very tiring. I felt my life has become a curse with endless suffering. But one day when I was hurting, I just decided that that’s it. I don’t want to feel like this anymore and I asked myself what I want. What do I need? And the answer was pretty simple I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY. 

After realizing that I want to be happy I cried more because it’s a simple feeling but very hard to feel. For a moment it felt like I don’t deserve to be happy but then I told myself that I do. I do deserve to be happy and I will be happy.

SUGGESTION – LIFE IS THE BIGGEST TEACHER IF YOU ARE WILLING TO LEARN.

Since that night I am working towards being happy and not feeling all those things which makes me sink in to a bottomless darkness. I have decided to blog. I will write about everything we go through life, all the feelings, how I dealt with emotions and how the people I know have dealt with them so that whoever reads may find it helpful. I have been stuck in the maze of life for quite a while and I think I know where each and every exit is, I am going towards my exit and I hope I can help you find yours.