What a great and magnificent thing we have. Time is timeless, boundless and it never stops. It will never stop for anyone as it never has. It’s amazing how much power time holds. Time can build and destroy civilizations, countries, empires and still keep on moving at its own pace and no one can hold time. It will keep on going with or without us as humans are very helpless against it. It will not stop for anything or anyone and I think that’s what makes it special because once it’s gone you can’t have it back again ever. It is a dreadful thing if you really think about it as the moment which has passed will never come back to you. It’s not that you will run out of it, you will have many similar moments but it won’t be the same situations, surroundings and reasons. All will change and so will you.

 The best thing about time is that it is there and then it’s not. You can live to be 80 years old and make so many memories and live. The second scenario is not good. It is when you run out of time and so much life gets left behind and you will never know what could have been. You will be gone and you will not know anything about anything and that’s why it’s important to take advantage of time while you can because you never know when you will run out of it. Nothing is set in stone as you are here this moment and you can be gone in the next so make time useful.

 Now I won’t say live like there is no tomorrow. I actually hate that saying because if there is no tomorrow then it would mean I don’t have to pay rent, do my job, get groceries, pay the bills, spend time with the family (who always picks on me) so no I can’t live like there is no tomorrow because there will be a tomorrow in which I will have to cook something and I have buckets and buckets of laundry and many more chores. But what I can do is live my life with the balance. I do things which I enjoy from time to time. I give time to myself and I relax and I don’t worry about the future as present is the only certainty I have and I should not ruin it by thinking what will happen next. I have lived my whole life thinking about the future and never enjoyed the present and man I was so wrong, things kept happening and I kept thinking. I was not nice to myself and never gave myself a chance to enjoy the little things. Now I am burned out and when I look back I regret the fact that I didn’t enjoy those moments as they could have been perfect if only I had stayed in the present and not thought about the future; it would have been awesome.

 So don’t make the mistake I made and try to enjoy the present time even if it’s full of s*** because time changes and you change with it. It is very hard to live in the present. I mean it is for me. Even now sometimes I start thinking about the future and the past and worry about things then I have to remind myself not to do that. I keep reminding myself to stay in the present. It is a hard thing to do but not impossible. When you start thinking about future then start reminding yourself about the present. Think about the things you can do better now, changes you can make now and not in the future.

You need to learn to be flexible if you want time to treat you good. Time is only good if you are changing with it, flowing according to its flow, walking with it at its pace then it will be very generous. If you’re not changing with time, you become stale and time is not kind to staleness. If you won’t learn from it, change yourself accordingly then it will become very hard to live and time will never stop and if you stop moving it will leave you behind and keep on moving without you, leaving you behind and it will be very tough for you to catch up with it.

 I got stuck in a moment for 8 years. I couldn’t move on from there and I am still stuck there but I have made some progress thanks to the therapy. While I was stuck in that moment everything changed around me, situations, people,  time everything changed and I just stayed in that moment, not moving, not learning and ignoring everything time had to teach me. I aged. My surroundings changed whether I wanted them to change or not, people around me grew older, wiser and they experienced life and I was just stuck in that moment. When I realized that I am stuck I felt like I have awoken from a very long sleep. In my sleep I was functional as I was doing a job and doing house chores and all that but most of my eight years are in bits and pieces. I don’t remember much of it and I certainly was not living. I was just functional. Doing what was needed and that’s it. Just doing things because they needed to be done and there was nothing more to it. I didn’t experience anything. I didn’t want anything. I didn’t want to do anything I just wanted to cease to exist. I wanted everything to stop as I had stopped and I just wanted everything to end as I waited for my end. It was a very dark time for me as I have faced a lot of problems and fair share of troubles but this is the one which damaged me the most. It took everything from me and I just wanted, well as I have said, cease to exist.

 Now I am trying to catch up, makeup for the lost time and the best thing I am doing is that I’m being kinder to myself. I’m not cursing myself or punishing myself or degrading myself for losing 8 years of my life. Instead I’m taking my time with it and slowly learning to love myself and forgive myself. Not gonna lie in the starting I was very hard on myself after waking from 8 years of sleep. I was belittling myself, questioning myself, blaming myself among other things and everything got mixed up and became too much and that’s when I knew I needed help and I got help. I think going to therapy is the best thing I have ever done for myself as I am able to see myself clearer. Those 8 years took away my personality, my self confidence and self respect. Nothing was to be found and the image I had of mine became very foggy. Now I have decided that I will not be the old me as I have learned a lot and it’s time to be who I am now, not what I used to be.

I lost a lot of time and if I waste more time thinking about it then that’s not good. The best thing to do now is to start walking with the time and then try to match its speed. I also need to balance out the time I have lost by doing the things I have always wanted to do.

Remember to be kind to yourself and if you have made any mistake in the past please know that according to that time and situation you did those things but the time and the situations have changed in the present, the knowledge you have now is different from the knowledge you had in the past so be kind to yourself, be nice to yourself and forgive yourself. Again these things are not easy. I mean nothing is easy in life and it is not fair to anyone. We have to make it work so just remember that Yes time once lost cannot be regained but you shouldn’t waste the time you have now thinking about the past because past cannot be changed and neither can the future but you can live in your present and be happy and enjoy the little things that you can.