I have been thinking to start my blog since 2019 as I knew I needed to share and finally I have done it. This is my outlet. I am doing this in order to get better. I need to share as I have never shared my thoughts, emotions, feelings with anyone. I have been on my own ever since I can remember (emotionally, mentally) and I am really not good at expressing myself. Probably that’s why I keep putting it off and I don’t write or post anything on my blog but I’m gonna do it even if it is tough for me, So here I am sharing and hoping that anyone who reads my blog finds it helpful in some way. I will be writing about my life, experiences, feelings and thoughts as writing is the only way for me to express my feelings in a better way.

I am an ambivert who is suicidal, have depression and BPD with anxiety. I don’t find anything exciting or anything worth living for even though I have a good life but it doesn’t matter how bad it gets, I’m not gonna give up. This is the one simple thing that I’m gonna do. It doesn’t matter how much I hate myself or everything else, it doesn’t matter how hollow I am, I’m gonna keep on going and I’m gonna make myself OK again and I’m gonna be a person who is thankful to have a life. I wanna live, be happy, enjoy things. I want to feel other things than hopelessness, pain, grief and sadness. I want to be at a point in my life where I’m not sad, not grieving and not burning inside and I’m just OK.

I made the mistake to keep everything inside me and I have a lot of emotional damage and even today I am not able to verbalize my feelings or my emotions in a better way.

 Keeping everything in your head is exhausting and it gets terrifying and you will be burned out. It doesn’t matter how great you feel right now but there will be a point in your life when you will regret doing this. So verbalize and express yourself in a healthy way as NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR MENTAL HEALTH.

If you want to write to me you can, I might be able to help you out or I can hear you out and be there for you as I also want to create a safe space for sharing. I have awfully hard time when it comes to sharing but I am trying to break that habit and you should try too.

PS:  Remember to be kind and respectful to yourself.